It is one thing to recognize and understand what is being felt and the natural inclinations in a particular situation. It is another to act according to the best interest of others. The analysis of the way someone might be influenced, or the expectation of what acting might incur, can be paralyzing with the shift from experience to analysis.
Some of tonight involved a consideration of this occurring a couple weeks ago. We explored some of the ways our experience was different from others and some of the factors that contributed to the way we reacted. Some of this evolved into a consideration of needs. Awareness of needs in the moment encourages the meeting of those needs. When we are unsure of what others need, or we need, it can easy to move into our head as we attempt to calculate.
The following is feedback for individual members:
Jen – You left a message that you wouldn’t be here tonight.
Jim – I appreciated the way you identified your feelings around needing from others. You were willing to explore it and recognized that it is somewhat of a defense mechanism. I’m curious as to what that means for relationships. My reaction as I considered such a relationship was that I might see myself as dispensable due to not being needed for anything. I’m really interested in your continued exploration of your needs and others’ needs in relationships.
Maria – I was sad to see you physically hurting tonight, and I hope that the symptoms have been alleviated as quickly as possible. I have a bit of an internal conflict over wanting you give you the time and space, and being concerned that not working through it might cause undue distress over time. You mentioned that there are some areas that you would like to explore as you have not yet come to full awareness. I am hopeful that you have the opportunity to address your own needs in this, and when that opportunity arises, that you are willing to lean into the potential discomfort that might arise.
Melissa – You have begun using this entire experience to explore and become more aware of the ways the past continues to influence your present. Some of the feelings from the past are still powerful when they arise, perhaps even more so as there is less occasion for them to be experienced. There are still some very present needs for you in all this, but you have been willing to put some of them aside for now. It seems as though the continued processing of this will provide opportunities for everyone involved to grow, explore, and take risks.
Tom – I’m interested in your thoughts of being curious and interested in what was occurring a couple of weeks ago. You saw that there was work to be done, but seemed to be wondering about how that work would be approached without completely interrupting the process. Is sounded like you went a bit into your head. Dr. Scherz mentioned the paralysis that can come from not perceiving ourselves as
Tomás – You were not in session tonight.
Trish – You described a lot of the feelings you have experienced. I am happy to see that you are reflecting and expressing your feelings without much reserve. I’m interested in what the feelings mean. Dr. Scherz mentioned that feeling scared about progress might mean that you need something to feel safe and secure, and he encouraged you to consider what that might be. You mentioned hoping for greater understanding. I wonder what other needs might be met through this. I think that the continued processing of this could provide opportunities for everyone. I’m hoping that you find them and take them when they arise.